The last week of the year is the usual time for looking back at the year’s activities. For several days now the newspapers and television schedules are full of programmes featuring the highlights and low points of 2010. Everywhere you look there are events of the year, players of the year and teams of the year.
Christmas time is also one of the periods of the year when stories from the Bible feature more in our daily lives. While listening to various Biblical stories over the past few days, I was struck by the thought that it would be an interesting variation on the review of the year idea to pick a hurling team based on various characters from the Bible. The following are my choices.
Goalkeeper; Jesus of Nazareth. A lot of recent research suggests that great players are not born: they are made. However, the old maxim is certainly true in this case; Jesus saves, and nobody does it better. Towards the end of his career the odd cross would give him trouble but he always managed to rise again.
Right full-back; Abraham. A shepherd by trade, and a tidy corner back but don’t be fooled by the calm exterior, it was said he would kill his own son to get the result he wanted. After he retired he became very involved in under-age affairs and produced multitudes of young hurlers.
Full-back; Lott. This teak-tough full back was fearless going forward and could never be accused of looking over his shoulder. He never took the credit for his great deeds, he wrote in his autobiography “I owe all my success to my wife; she was the pillar behind me.”
Left full-back; St Paul. Saul as he was known in his younger days, was a late convert to hurling. When he was growing up he preferred the foreign game of rugby where he starred as a destructive flanker. He met a few hurlers while travelling to Damascus one day and after going for a few pucks with them, he fell totally in love with the game. His abrasive character suited the game and he went on to become one of its great defenders.
Right half-back; St Peter. He was a fisherman by trade. His main job was to trawl behind center-back, Samson. He performances were solid as a rock. He was not a morning person though and he once nearly lost his place on the team when the management called a number of dawn training sessions. Peter refused to play until he heard the cock crow at least three times.
Centre-back; Samson. When Samson shot on to the scene as a centre-back, he was as famous for his flowing locks as he was for his remarkable strength. He was never fussy about the quality of his hurleys either. “I’d swear he could hurl with the jawbone of an ass” one coach was heard to say. As he grew older, he lost his hair and his eyesight faded. His retirement party will long be remembered for the fact that he brought the house down with his farewell speech.
Left half-back; Angel Gabriel. He was a busy player who was always at his best on the wing. He had a long career that spanned both the Old and New Testaments. The forwards liked him because of the quality of his delivery of the ball. “He’s like an angel of the Lord,” they said. Away from the field, Gabriel liked to play the trombone, or the “horn” as he used to call it.
Mid-field; St Michael the Archangel. Just like Gabriel, Michael the Archangel seems to be able to fly around the place. He was seen as the perfect linkman between attack and defence. He was not known for his temper but could use his hurley like a sword when he had to. He was on the team for a very long time and regarded by all as a great man to be by your side.
Mid-field; The Good Samaritan. He was a good all-rounder who never sought attention for himself. His best work has always been in covering for other people’s mistakes.
Right half-forward; Jonah. He was an unlucky winger who greatly underestimated his own ability to motivate his fellow players. His mantra was, “if we don’t train properly for 40 days we’ll surely lose.” The team believed him and went on diets and strict training. The unfortunate Jonah was dropped for the final. The captain Moses thanked him for bringing the team to their senses. “We would never have achieved success without your warnings,” he said. However a bitter Jonah replied, “Huh, even a whale wouldn’t swallow that”.
Centre forward; Moses. He was the captain of the team for most of his career. As a centre forward he could charge through the opponents and split their defences in half. In his later career he began to wander and lose focus. He also began to doubt the word of the manager and was quoted as saying “ it would be easier to draw water from a rock than do what he wants”; he was replaced as captain after this.
Left half-forward; Pontius Pilate. He was given his place in the team because of the great reputation he built for himself while he was working over seas. He never lived up to that rating however, he became selfish and indecisive. He refused to cover for the midfielders, claiming that he was tired of flogging himself with little help from anyone else. Eventually, the management washed their hands of him.
Right corner-forward; David. Like Abraham, he was a shepherd. He was an unlikely looking player when he was young. He made his reputation when he was thrown in as a late replacement in the Israelite v Philistine championship game. Few gave David a chance, but he showed unbelievable courage and slung points over from all angles. He also took out the Philistine full-back Goliath. This tackle destroyed the Philistine morale. “I never saw it comin” said the giant full-back.
Full-Forward; Solomon. David and Solomon are the only father-son pair on the team. Solomon was credited as being a very intelligent player and was known as “The Judge”. He often settled disputes between players. He famously sorted a row between Samson and Pontius Pilate over the ownership of a hurley. Solomon said, “Samson the hurley is too good to be yours, you always play with ould boards. And Pontius, you’re too lazy to have a hurley this good. So I’ve decided to give it to my father David”.
Left corner-forward; Job. He looked a fine player when he came out of the underage system. He soon lost form however, and was ridiculed by fellow players and supporters alike. Job was unperturbed and he worked through his poor form with great patience. The persistence was eventually rewarded. Not only did Job go on to be a great player but he held down his place on the team for a hundred and forty years.
The team is all male, because that was the way of the time. There were many others who could rightly claim a place on the team and, in order to accommodate some of these legitimate claims, it may be necessary to have an All-star game between the Old Testament and the New Testament over the Easter period.
Full Team is:
Goalkeeper; Jesus of Nazareth
Full-back line; Abraham, Lott, St Paul
Half-back line; St Peter, Samson, Angel Gabriel
Midfield; St Michael the Archangel, The Good Samaritan
Half-forward line; Jonah, Moses, Pontius Pilate
Full-forward line; David, Solomon, Job